


Valentine's Day Is Stupid (and other things Jared Kleinman internalized)

by addendum



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Flashback, M/M, the insanely insecure jared kleinman, why am I writing a Valentine's Day fic in may?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 10:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10897446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addendum/pseuds/addendum
Summary: Evan has always made Jared's holidays a little more bearable.





	Valentine's Day Is Stupid (and other things Jared Kleinman internalized)

Valentine's Day was stupid, Jared decided. Or, really, his father had decided for him. On the drive to school this morning he'd been grumpy and kind of mean and he'd said that Valentine's Day was stupid. It was a corporate holiday, apparently. Totally contrived in its sentimentality. 

Jared had always thought his parents liked Valentine's Day. His dad bought his mother flowers every year, big and bright and too extravagant. Every year except this one, that is. 

Jared had been excited before, clutching the heart shaped cards addressed to each of his classmates. He was a little disappointed when his father said he couldn't buy the ones that came with lollipops, but that was okay. Someone else would bring lollipops. Zoe Murphy probably, since her family was so rich. 

Now Jared made his way down the hall to his third grade classroom and despite everything his dad had said, he could feel a bubble of excitement in his heart and in his stomach. 

"Jared!" A voice from down the hall called, and it could only be one person. 

Evan Hansen was a pale boy with a face as littered in freckles as his mind was with neuroses. He clung to Jared like he was an anchor. Like the only other option was floating into unknown territory. 

This made Jared feel important. No one had ever needed him before. 

"Hey, Evan." Jared responded as Evan caught his breath. He had raced down the hall to catch up with Jared. 

"I got you something! Well, it was my mom's idea. But, um, I picked it out! I thought you would like it." He pulled his backpack to the floor and reached into it. Jared noticed that he had patches of sweat on his shirt. 

Did guys normally get either guys gifts for Valentine's Day? Jared didn't want to be made fun of. And he didn't want Evan to be made fun of. 

"It's an action figure!" Evan explained, shoving a box into Jared's free hand. 

It certainly was an action figure. Han Solo, looking proud and confident even when made of plastic. 

"Wow, cool!" Jared said, even if they were a touch too old to be playing with dolls. 

He couldn't believe Evan had gotten him such a great present. He met the other boy's eyes, eager to thank him. 

Evan's eyes were the color of amber, the stuff dinosaur bones are trapped in. Maybe Jared would get Evan a dinosaur toy for Valentine's Day. Wait, wasn't this holiday supposed to be stupid? 

His dad had said that earlier, biting back a swear word and sneering into the rearview mirror of his Miata. 

Evan smiled then, soft and inviting. And subtle. And real. Jared noticed his shoulders relax in a rare display of triumphant calm and suddenly his father's words just sounded like blurred nonsense. Valentine's Day was a really cool holiday. He hoped Evan liked dinosaurs. 

 

•••• 

"We could smoke a bunch of weed and get stoned behind the strip mall?" Jared suggested offhandedly, reclining in the chair he was sitting on. 

He and Evan were home alone on Valentine's Day because it's not like either of them had any romantic opportunities. Jared had already made Evan watch a slur of stupid cringe compilations and complained about the kid who sat behind him in math class, so now it seemed they were out of options. 

"Don't be an idiot!" Evan scolded from where he sat cross legged on the hardwood floor. "That's illegal." 

Jared rolled his eyes. He knew Evan wasn't likely to agree to his plan, but he thought he might as well give it a shot. 

"Fine, Hansen. Don't have an aneurism." 

"Where would we even get it?" Evan huffed, still scowling. "It's not like you have connections." 

Jared froze, feeling himself blush like a little kid caught in a lie. Where would they have gotten the weed? There was that one Stoney kid from camp, he supposed, but he had never liked Jared all that much. He found him annoying. A lot of people found Jared annoying. 

"Uh, I guess you're right." Jared mumbled, still thinking about that guy from camp and smarting from having been called on his bluff. "Hey, why are you even here anyway?" 

"What?" Evan asked, startled and hurt. 

"I mean, shouldn't you be on a date or something? Fucking Zoe Murphy in her crazy brother's car? It is Valentine's Day, after all." Jared spit out words like weapons, hoping to poke holes in his own insecurity until it popped. 

"Shut up, Jared." Evan said. "I'm not the only one moping around in your room without a date. And I'm certainly not the only virgin." 

Jared had nothing else of substance to say. He was frustrated and antsy and horny as hell. He wanted to be alone but was terrified of Evan leaving. 

"Valentine's Day is so stupid." He declared simply. This only served to annoy Evan even more. 

"Valentine's Day is not stupid, Jared." He said indignantly. 

Jared slid off his bed and onto the floor where Evan was, sensing the onslaught of an actual conversation. 

"What makes you say that, Evan?" 

"It's about love!" Evan exclaimed. "It's about making sure everyone knows that they're loved. How is that stupid?" 

Jared was silent, reflecting. But what about the people who are alone? What about the people who didn't have anyone? Not even a gangly, anxious kid to sit on their bedroom floors and tell them why they're wrong? 

"You know I've never even been kissed?" Jared confessed, not feeling he had anything to lose. Evan rose an eyebrow. "It's junior year and I've still never been kissed." 

"But I thought you said-" 

"I lied." Jared said, not bothering to apologize or explain. 

There was a pause before Evan spoke again. 

"Me neither." Evan replied as though Jared didn't already know. As though everyone in the world didn't already know he was a fucking loser. Who would he have kissed? 

This whole scenario was making Jared feel a little sick. He was a jokester, a class clown. He didn't like being one half of the saddest duo in the entire goddamn world. Two lonely boys basking in each other's lack of self worth. 

"It's only a matter of time for you, Evan." Jared assured him, uncharacteristically solemn. 

"You think so?" Evan asked, timid as ever. 

"Of course. You're adorable. Seriously." 

Jared cringed at his words. Adorable? Was he fucking serious? He'd really gone full homo now. It's not like he was lying, though. He'd dreamt about Evan before, about his amber eyes and soft hands and lips that looked even softer. 

Evan's nose bumped violently against Jared's, shaking him from his daytime wet dream. 

"I'm sorry!" Evan said, scooting backward and looking just horrified. His face was on fire. 

"Did you just try to kiss me?" Jared inquired, hoping he didn't read the situation wrong. 

"Yes? I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking. It's just that you said that thing about kissing and so then I said that other thing about kissing and I just thought were were having a...moment? Maybe? But now I fucked it all up and-" 

Jared cut off his words abruptly with a peck to the lips. The smacking noise was rather unpleasantly, reverberating in the otherwise silent room. 

"Oh!" Evan exclaimed quietly, bringing a hand to his lips. 

"Happy Valentine's Day, Evan." Jared muttered, catching a glimpse of a Han Solo action figure sitting on his bookshelf.


End file.
